Social Connection: our lives depend on it

Ironically, as the world has grown more interconnected, people have grown more disconnected from each other. Even before the pandemic, which required people to self-isolate, many health professionals believed loneliness was becoming an epidemic. Emerging research showed that social isolation could be deadly, leading to heart disease, mental health issues, dementia, and shorter lifespans. Back in 2018, Britain appointed a “loneliness minister” to tackle the problem. Later Japan and Sweden followed suit. In America, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the former surgeon general, was calling loneliness a “profound public health issue.” Five years later, Dr. Murthy, who was reappointed as surgeon general, sounded the alarm earlier this year in an 81-page report on the “devastating impact” of loneliness. 

“Given the significant health consequences of loneliness and isolation, we must prioritize building social connection the same way we have prioritized other critical public health issues such as tobacco, obesity, and substance use disorders," wrote Dr. Murthy.

Back in 1964, the surgeon general issued a historic warning about the dangers of smoking, and many observers think Dr. Murthy’s spring report could be just as significant. 

“I suspect that this report on loneliness will also be remembered as one of historic significance,” wrote New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who has written frequently about the epidemic of loneliness, pointing out that the 1964 warning helped “lay the groundwork for a long decline in tobacco use that by one estimate saved eight million lives.”

As Kristof mentions, Murthy wrote in the report that “loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling,” and offered this stark warning if steps aren’t taken to address the problem - “we will further retreat to our corners — angry, sick and alone.” And while seniors are particularly vulnerable to the physical effects of loneliness and isolation, we are all in this together, as research has shown that young adults are twice as likely to report feeling lonely than seniors.

However, as both Kristof and Murthy point out, while loneliness and isolation are widespread and dangerous to our well-being, and the causes complex, the cure is pretty simple: social connection

That was on display locally during the United Way’s annual Day of Caring last week, in which hundreds of volunteers across the region came together to work on dozens of projects and events. JABA, our local aging services agency, which operates centers across the region for older adults, also held its annual “Fall Ball.” Seniors from JABA centers in Charlottesville and Greene, Nelson, Louisa, Fluvanna, and Albemarle counties all came together (thanks to JAUNT buses) for music, dancing, games, and a Cajun-style meal at JABA's Greene County center location in Stanardsville. While you could notice different levels of engagement among the seniors, collectively there was such energy in the room. A rising sea of connection lifted all boats. And most importantly - everyone looked like they were having such fun. 

Community senior centers are vital social hubs for area seniors, especially in rural areas, and they strengthen the “social infrastructure” that Dr. Murthy cites as a strategy for combating the loneliness epidemic - the idea that “communities must design environments that promote connection, establish and scale community connection programs, and invest in institutions that bring people together.” Indeed, as Murthy wrote, combating loneliness involves a wholesale re-investment in our communities - upgrading parks, libraries, and community centers, improving public transportation, fostering better work-life balance, and deepening our cultural understanding of the importance of social connection, especially in relation to the digital environments that are now part of our lives. 

If you or an older adult you know appears to be spending too much time alone, consider joining a JABA center, becoming a member of the Center at Belvedere, joining a support group in your area, or simply visiting a park for a walk. Questions? You can call JABA’s Senior Helpline at 434.817.5244 to find out about area programs and resources. You are not alone. Reach out and stay connected - our lives and the health of our communities could depend on it. 

This article originally appeared in the September 27, 2023 issue of C-Ville.

Celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month

September 15 to October 15 is National Hispanic American Heritage Month

Marta Keane, JABA CEO

Every September 15 through October 15, we celebrate National Hispanic Heritage Month. September 15th marks the anniversary of independence for several Latin American countries, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua. This month-long holiday serves to honor and celebrate the Latin heritage, culture and contributions made by members of the community.

The National Hispanic Council on Aging (NHCOA) has been in existence almost as long as JABA. Its four main goals are to promote health, economic security, housing and leadership development and empowerment. These are areas that are consistent with JABA’s efforts to help seniors age in the community.

According to the latest census, the Hispanic population in our region has grown to 5 percent, with higher numbers in some counties. We are intentionally broadening our outreach to the Latinx community in our region, especially by having a bilingual Outreach Assistant, who can identify the best avenues and provide a culturally-sensitive interaction. We have translated our key brochures and tool kits into Spanish to assist with this outreach. We are pleased to work with Dr. Max Luna, Latinx outreach from UVa Health System, as he has established a strong trust within the community and is helping to extend that to JABA.

This is an example of our value of Culture of Collaboration, as we are achieving more through working together, and our value of Inclusion, as we care about helping all seniors to age in the community. We celebrate the Latinx community and all of us who provide service and support to Latinx seniors. I am proud to be of Hispanic heritage and know that it has enriched my experiences and added to my perspective of caring for all.

Thank you,

Marta Keane, JABA CEO

Ageism: Easy to Fall Into, Even if You're Aging

I met a woman recently whose mother is 95 years old and lives at home. She and her sister have been trying to convince their mother to attend a professionally run day center, like JABA's Respite & Enrichment Center, so that she isn't so isolated at home and they aren't so worried about her being there when they are not. It would also provide a much-needed respite from their caregiving duties. But their mother refuses to consider that option, telling her daughters that she "doesn't want to sit around all day with a bunch of old people."

The woman smiled and shrugged, included a few anecdotes about how independent and stubborn her mother was, and left it at that. I thought about the wonderful older adults I've met at JABA's Respite & Enrichment Center over the years, and the equally wonderful people caring for them. I thought of all the activities, the outings, the music events, the visits from young people in the community I've witnessed, and while I understand the attitude (my own mother was the same way), even identify with that independent spirit, the "sit around all day with a bunch of old people" comment really bothered me. I felt certain their mother wouldn't feel that way if she spent time at the center.     

How is it that someone who has faced the challenges of aging can still be so ageist?  And why weren't the daughters recognizing it as such? 

Given how most of us grow up with negative ideas about aging, and are bombarded with marketing that promotes "anti-aging" products, research, and regimes designed to "defy" or "fight" aging as if it were a disease, and are constantly reading news about problems associated with aging populations, it's amazing any of us can remain positive about aging. What's more, we like to glorify outliers, seniors climbing mountains or starting new careers, when in reality someone's biggest challenge might be learning how to optimize the use of a cane or walker or live independently after a stroke. And even without all the negative messaging and exaggerated expectations, coming to terms with aging can be difficult. Decline is real. Mortality is real. Those are not easy things for anyone to accept. Not to mention the deep stigma about being dependent or a burden.

So, it's not unnatural to have negative feelings and fears about growing older. And like our 95-year-old mother, it's not unnatural to respond negatively to the sight of frail or disabled elders, especially if they are our peers, as it can remind us what might lie ahead. It's not unnatural to want to distance ourselves from the idea of decline and death. And it's not unnatural to wince at the sight of those frailer and less mobile than ourselves. Todd D. Nelson, a renowned psychologist who studies ageism, has called it a "prejudice against our feared future self."  

But here's the thing - viewing aging negatively is aging us, hurting others, and even killing us. Researchers at Yale University have found that people with negative age beliefs earlier in life were more prone to heart attacks, strokes, and dementia later in life. Indeed, research has shown that those with negative age bias die nearly 8 years earlier than those with more positive views about aging, and that being the target of ageism or age bias can accelerate physical decline. But it doesn't have to be that way.

"Ageism is the least-challenged and understood form of discrimination," wrote Dr Kay Patterson, Australia's outgoing age discrimination commissioner, in a recent article. "I have seen this translate into lack of interest or will by governments, businesses, and the media to invest time and resources into addressing age-related issues."

As Patterson points out, this can lead directly to elder abuse in our society, and to the marginalization and oppression of both younger and older generations. 

Patterson called ageism "pernicious and pervasive," pointing out that it can occur because of both malevolent or benevolent intentions, and even be internalized against ourselves. However, she also said research has shown that attitudes about aging can be "easily shifted" by even brief ageism awareness sessions, and that "contrary to the perception of cynicism and resentment between generations," there's a mutual understanding of life issues that exists between people of different age groups, and a real desire to support each other. 

"We are more alike than we are different," said Patterson.  

David McNair handles communications, media relations, and social media efforts for JABA.  This article originally appeared in the August 30, 2023 print edition of C-Ville Weekly.

Message from Marta: Embrace what every age and stage of life brings

“Like racism and sexism, ageism is not about how we look. It’s about what people in power want our appearance to mean. Ageism occurs when a group, whether politicians or marketers or employment agencies, use that power to oppress or exploit or silence or simply ignore people who are much younger or significantly older.”

– Ashton Applewhite, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism

Marta Keane, JABA CEO

As we address JABA’s second Value of Inclusion, an area that is often overlooked is age.  Ageism exists.  We looked at ways to Defy Ageism last spring.  But we can never talk about it too much.

There is a lot in this quote to think about.  Do we and others make assumptions based on someone’s age?  This can cut both ways.  Is someone too old for the job?  Is someone perceived too inexperienced for the job because they are young?  And the point is, do we make that judgment based on our unconscious bias?  We don’t even realize that our first thought is based on “how someone looks”!

Have others set the stage, those in power, those who influence, to tell us what they “want our appearance to mean”?  The key is how do we take that power away from others, and defy ageism?  How do we change the unconscious bias of ourselves and others regarding what the appearance of age means?

It is what is true for any “ism”.  We need to let each individual present themselves, without judgment from us.  And experience what that individual brings forward.  That is how we disallow age as a factor in deciding what any of us can do, or could be allowed to do.  As the population skews older, and there are as many people over 60 as there are under 18 in our region, it is important that we embrace what every age and stage of life brings to the fabric of our community.

Thanks for reading the quote and thinking about what it means to you.

Marta Keane, JABA CEO

Who'll be taking care of you?

On a recent episode of Slate's How To podcast, Amy Goyer, AARP’s family and caregiving expert, was brought on to provide advice and guidance for caregivers. But it was her own cautionary tale in caregiving that was most impactful. She'd worked in the aging field for 40 years, she said, and had cared for her grandparents, her parents (her Father had Alzheimer’s and her Mother had a stroke), and her sister, who was across the country from her and living with Cushing disease.

"It is a cautionary tale because I did everything right and it was still not enough...because my dad had Alzheimer’s and needed 24/7 care. Even with me providing 60 to 80 hours of care a week myself, I had to pay people while I was working, and I ended up going bankrupt," she said. "It was humiliating."

"I had a financial advisor for my parents," she added, "but I did not have a financial advisor for myself."

Indeed, it was a theme in the episode: caregivers becoming physically, emotionally, and financially drained by the challenges of caregiving, and a healthcare system seemingly designed to make it even tougher.

At one point, the moderator turned things around on Goyer and asked her how she planned to prepare for being cared for in the future, and it became clear that even she had not figured that out yet. 

"My boyfriend of 16 years, my life partner, has many nieces and nephews, but neither one of us have kids," said Goyer. "And so there is that feeling of, oh, God, who’s going to do this for us?" 

However, even for those caregivers in the episode with kids, there was a feeling of not wanting to put them through what they were going through with their own parents. 

This led to an interesting discussion about needing to be proactive about your long-term health and emotional stability as you get older - and to participate in your own anticipated need to be cared for. Easier said than done, of course.

Goyer emphasized avoiding isolation as you get older, expanding your social circles, tending to your long-term friendships, hanging out with neighbors, and perhaps resolving problem relationships with people you love. It's also about where you live, who you live with, and how your home is set up. It's about educating yourself about what community and home-based services and supports are available. In fact, she recommends reaching out to your local area agency on aging, in our case JABA on Hillsdale Drive. And getting your paperwork in order. 

"I would try to talk with an attorney who’s part of the National Academy of Elder Law attorneys or estate planning attorneys," said Goyer. "Get all that paperwork in place, but then figure out who’s going to make sure that my wishes are adhered to, who’s going to be that person, who’s going to advocate for me if I go in the hospital, or who’s going to water my plants if I suddenly go in the hospital or take care of my dog."

And as Goyer mentions, there are now Aging Life Care Specialists you can hire who'll help you and your family navigate the various situations that can arise with aging and caregiving. And while engaging professionals can be costly now, they can end up saving you much more later. 

"It's important to prepare to be cared for ourselves, because it’s not a matter of if we’re going to need it, it’s a matter of when," said Goyer. 

David McNair handles communications, media relations, and social media efforts for JABA.  This article orginially apppeared in the GenNow! section of C-Ville Weely.

JABA REC Centers Cater to Member, Caregiver, and Family Needs

Kelsie Short, JABA's Charlottesville Respite & Enrichment Center manager, joined NBC29's Kasey Hott to talk about our Respite & Enrichment Centers, pointing out that we work with older adults, caregivers and families to find out what they need.
Watch the full interview here. 

Caregiving situations can change quickly, and older adults and those with disabilities may find they need extra support to remain in their homes. Meanwhile, caregivers and family members may find they're juggling too much with work and raising children, or live too far away - it can be overwhelming. JABA's Respite & Enrichment Centers in Charlottesville and Louisa are safe, loving places where members receive professional care and enjoy fun activities and outings.

Come in for a free lunch and and tour!