caregiving

Gen Now: Sandwich Generation Feels the Squeeze

C-Ville Weekly - We've been hearing about the "Sandwich Generation" for some time: people, mostly women, caring for children under 18 and older relatives at the same time. But it has now reached a point, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in October 2021, where nearly a quarter of adults in the country (23%) are dealing with this situation. And that percentage is expected to increase. By 2040, nearly 1 in every 5 people in Virginia will be older than 65. Meanwhile, weak parental leave policies, a lack of subsidized child care, and the increasing cost of elder care (along with a shortage of care professionals) are putting the squeeze on the Sandwich Generation.

For example, UVA employees who pay for a long-term care benefit through Genworth are in for a shock this October. Under pressure from insurance companies, the Virginia State Corporation Commission approved a 51.9% increase in their long-term care premium costs. For others with long-term care insurance in Virginia, the premium increases have been even greater, as much as 150% for some. Why the increases? Because insurance companies understand what 1 in every 5 people in Virginia being older than 65 means – more people are going to need expensive care, and more claims. The federal government has recognized the problem as well, recently passing the Inflation Reduction Act, which will cap prescription drug costs at $2,000 out-of-pocket annually for Medicare recipients and allows seniors earning less than 150% of the federal policy level to receive the full low-income subsidy benefit. Previously, seniors earning that amount received only partial benefits. But many feel more needs to be done.

"This is only a first step in the right direction,” said Avenel Joseph, vice president for policy at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, after the Act was signed into law by President Biden. "Congress must renew efforts to extend the expanded Child Tax Credit, create a national paid family and medical leave standard, create affordable and stable housing, and, finally, provide health insurance for those left behind in states that haven’t expanded Medicaid." 

Unfortunately, for too long we have normalized the idea that it's a family's responsibility to take care of their own, but family dynamics have changed -- people are having children later, and have been for some time, and overall family size in our country has been growing smaller. Many parents and families simply don't have the time or the financial resources to care for children and aging relatives at the same time. And while plenty of middle-class families are feeling the strain of this, the dynamic falls especially hard on poor and marginalized people in our society.

Never mind the emotional strain of caring for people we love. Never mind being torn between the responsibility of addressing the needs of your child and the obligation to care for a parent who once cared for you.  

"Nothing can be hidden from me, because I'm managing everything," a mother in Maine who lives with her aging parents and two teenage daughters told Parents Magazine recently. "On my bluer days, I feel extremely squeezed and scattered at the same time."

"Emotional labor requires our whole being," said Jessica Stern, Ph.D., a psychology researcher at the University of Virginia, in the same article. "It asks us to be emotionally regulated ourselves, to have emotional intelligence about other people, and to have a lot of self-control."

Indeed, experts agree - without community and government support, an emphasis on self-care, and a willingness to share feelings about the struggles of caregiving, the potential for caregiver burn-out only increases.

So what can those in the Sandwich Generation do now? Reach out for help, be sure to take care of yourself first, and advocate for change.

David McNair handles communications, media relations, and social media efforts for JABA. This artcile originally appeared in C-Ville Weekly’s Gen Now special section.

 

A Caregiver’s Toolkit: You Have Questions. JABA Has Answers

We know you want to be able to take care of the older or disabled adult you love. But, sometimes, you need assistance along the way. JABA has information that can help you understand where your loved one is on their journey and connect you to services that make your family’s life easier. Let’s take a few steps together to get you started.. (Printable PDF version of this toolkit here.)

Step 1: What Services Are Available?Let’s explain some options for your loved ones as they get older

Options Counseling: JABA’s counselors help you and your loved one decide next steps and identify available supports and services.

Personal Home Care: Comes to your loved one’s home to provide support with tasks such as cooking, cleaning, shopping or running errands (various local agencies).

Home Health Care: Trained aide comes to your loved one’s home for hands-on help with feeding, bathing, meal preparation, medication, etc. (various local agencies). Often prescribed by a doctor.

Community Senior Centers: JABA’s seven centers in central Virginia are for independent seniors (including those with walkers, etc.) who can benefit during the day from socializing and activities with others their age.

Adult Care Centers: JABA’s centers (Charlottesville and Louisa) offer day care during the week for adults with early dementia or disabilities, and provide a supportive environment with activities so that caregivers can have a break or continue to work.

Assisted Living Facility: Long term care option for older adults who may need help with personal care and medication management and can benefit from socialization and activities. Assisted living facilities may also offer memory care for individuals with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia.

Nursing Homes: Similar to ALFs, but residents live with more complex health conditions and require 24/7 medical supervision.

Step 2: How Is My Loved One Doing? Over the last month or so, I noticed. . . .

Changes in My Loved One:

  • Forgot where they were or wandering

  • Falls

  • Medication errors

  • Incontinence/hygiene issues

  • Missed meals/cooking issues

  • Personality changes/anger

  • Driving issues

Step 3: How Am I Doing? More and more, caregiving is having an effect on me. . . .

Changes in Me:

  • Feel like I have to do it all myself and should be doing more?

  • Feel guilty for not being able to meet all of my obligations?

  • Worry about the safety of the loved one I am caring for?

  • Feel like I have given up things I enjoy?

  • Put off taking care of myself, including my own health?

  • Am concerned about making a critical mistake in care decisions?

  • Worry that I am not able to provide the care my loved one needs?

Don’t give up, you’re assessing the situation. Let’s continue...

Step 4: What Services Does My Family Need?

Caregiving is challenging and JABA is here to support you. Follow the decision tree below to help you think about your loved one’s health, safety, capabilities and engagement. Then see which services may best meet their needs.

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Step 5: Can I Make This Happen?

Some major hurdles can stand in the way of getting care for your loved one.

Mom (or Dad) Won’t Go: Change is difficult for everyone. Often an elder is in denial and things may get worse before they will listen to you. A few suggestions:

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Can My Family Afford This? Care can be expensive. Take a deep breath and let’s look at average prices in central Virginia (care option descriptions on first page). Keep in mind that your loved one may be entitled to benefits/scholarships that reduce costs.

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Step 6: This is the time to call JABA. Call JABA and set up a time to meet with our qualified staff at no charge. We offer many services and can also connect you to community supports.

The journey you and your loved one are on is long and complex. JABA knows you want to do the best thing. Even if you have spoken with us before, situations change. We’re ready to help. Start by giving us a call at 434.817.5222 or email us at info@jabacares.org.. (Printable PDF version of this toolkit here.)

© 2019 JABA, Inc. All rights reserved. Last updated on 4/29/2019.