C-Ville Weekly - When we get older we tend to think of our childhoods as distant memories that have long since faded in relevance to our current lives. We might laugh and share an anecdote or two with friends, reminisce about a place we visited as a child, but for the most part those memories are tucked away like old photos in a box in the attic. What’s more, when childhood memories do surface, and we feel the pangs of nostalgia, we tend to push it away, or to label ourselves cheesy or sappy.
Research, however, suggests you ought to go get that box and dust it off because digging deeper into childhood memories can help with a challenge you’re dealing with, simply make you feel better, and help your children in their own lives. You’re also doing it more often than you think.
A study at the School of Psychology at the University of Surrey in England found that people experience bouts of nostalgia at least once a week and that even children as young as 8-years old do this. Teens and young adults in their 20s do it most often as they begin to make the important decisions of their adult lives, and older people do it to gain perspective.
Basically, the study found that connecting old memories with your current situation allows you to make sense of your life, and makes you feel less lonely by reminding you of your connection to others and your community. And that doing this can reduce stress and improve your mood. The researchers also found that looking back in profound ways can create positive feelings about the future.
Indulging in nostalgia can also help those around you. Researchers found that people who “nostalgize” give to charity more, and that sharing stories with friends, family members, and romantic partners is a strong way to show caring and support.
In fact, a growing body of research has shown that sharing our personal stories with children and grandchildren, especially in heartfelt and detailed ways, teaches them to tell stories in more detailed ways (plus, kids love hearing stories about when you were a kid). Later in life these narrative skills can lead to stronger empathy for others, higher self-esteem, and the ability to better understand complex ideas.
But what about bad or traumatic childhood memories? Or just unpleasant ones you don’t want to think about? While severe childhood trauma that hasn’t been dealt with might be cause for seeking professional help, revisiting the stories of our childhood on our own can also be a way to heal ourselves.
Since the 1980s, UVA psychologist Tim Wilson has been studying how “editing” the stories we tell ourselves about our lives can improve our emotional health. In a well-known study, Wilson worked with freshmen students who were struggling in school, and found that most of them believed they had “always been bad at school.” What Wilson did was edit that story, and asked them to consider the fact that “everyone fails at first.” The students read stories from other students who at first failed but later succeeded. Wilson found that those students who edited the story in their heads were more likely to stay in school, succeed, and not drop out, compared to a control group who did not get the story-telling prompt.
Wilson has also found that this “story-editing” technique can help people with very painful memories, even veterans suffering from PTSD. Basically, we can get stuck thinking about a certain memory in a certain way, and by simply “editing” or changing the story a bit, we can go back and heal ourselves.
And the good memories? Personal achievements you are proud of? An act of kindness that helped someone? A memory of someone helping you?
Well, the University of Surrey researchers say use them to your advantage, summon them to make yourself feel good, to give yourself some encouragement, and to give yourself an energy boost to face future challenges.
So, go on, dust off that old box of photos and get to work.
David McNair handles communications, media relations, and social media efforts for JABA.
This article originally appeared in C-Ville Weekly’s July 2022 Gen Now special section.