There is a popular video produced by AARP that asks a group of millennials to say what age they consider to be "old" and to show what "old" looks like to them. Most said 40s, 50s, and 60s and then pretended to hobble across the street using a cane and write a text message on their phones using one finger while squinting at the screen. But then each millennial is paired with someone older, in his or her 50s, 60s or 70s, and something changes. A 55-year-old does a perfect yoga balance on a small block, something one millennial can't do. A 70-year-old does karate moves with his younger partner. They teach each other dance moves, balancing exercises. The result?

The millennials quickly change their minds about what they thought "old" was. "Old, now, to me is, like, 100," says one millennial.

What's striking about the video is the intimate connection the millennials and older people have with each other by the end. Most are holding hands, embracing, or smiling brightly as they describe their experience. The experiment reveals how energized both the millennials and older people were by the experience.

Yet, as the need for such an experiment shows, there exist false perceptions and societal walls that often prevent much-needed connections between generations in our society. Not to mention the ageism that exists in our youth-obsessed culture. While we live in an age focused on equity, reducing discrimination, and encouraging diversity, divides and misunderstandings between generations still persist. 

"We seem to understand the value of having diverse relationships and connections with people of different socioeconomic, faith, racial or other backgrounds. The same is true for engaging with a wide variety of ages," said Peter Thompson, executive director of The Center.

"A community is made up of all ages, and the strength of the community depends on all generations," said Marta Keane, CEO of the Jefferson Area Board for Aging (JABA). "Generations have so much to learn from one another. The seniors have wisdom and experience to share. They can provide guidance and encouragement, and demonstrate the joy of life. Younger generations have ideas without assumptions/biases and can be open to new ideas. They might stretch what is in one's comfort zone."

Indeed, intergenerational programming is a priority at JABA, and it's the reason they have a preschool right beside their Adult Care Center in Charlottesville, and often invite young people from the community to participate in activities with senior members. Recently, The Center organized a chat between UVA med students and senior members, and there are frequent Zoom events, like a recent discussion on equity in our community presented by UVA's Office for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion and Albemarle County's Office of Equity and Inclusion, that can bring young and old together.

At a time when COVID has separated many of us, and increased isolation, especially for more vulnerable older people, it's all too easy to end up spending most of our time with people roughly the same age or generation as we are. Even before the pandemic, young people working for local tech companies or in restaurants, or continuing their education, often find themselves in social worlds isolated from older people. Likewise, older people entrenched in their careers and family lives, living in retirement communities or isolated in their homes, don't often have opportunities to interact with younger people.

Much can be done simply by making micro-gestures in our daily lives. Why not think about striking up a conversation with an older person of a different generation that you see in the grocery store or walking in your neighborhood? Make a random phone or Zoom call to an older person in your life. You never know what kind of cool stuff you might learn.

"I get new perspectives every time I engage with, for example, a UVa student, or our Center members who are sometimes my age but often 20 or 30 or more years my senior," Thompson said. "With a rapidly changing world, hearing a wide variety of views is vital to my understanding of what it takes for the Charlottesville area to be a healthy community."

This article originally appeared in C-Ville Weely’s special section Gen Now

David McNair handles publicity, marketing, media relations and social media efforts for the Jefferson Area Board for Aging.